p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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