he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize
