so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
