I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Randomize