Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Randomize
