Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize