had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
time to smoke my breakfast
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
