Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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