May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Randomize
