3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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