Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
