Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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