white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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