the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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