we have pet lesbian snakes
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
