She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
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