Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
wat bout pragnant strippers??
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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