My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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