i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
