I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
