Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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