No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize