im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
