sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize