he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
