i permit you to call me
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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