She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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