Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
