I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
