we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
