She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
