I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
