i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
