Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
