I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
