Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
