HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
