Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
