sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
ttyl tear gas
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
