the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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