Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
