so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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