she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
