NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Well I just put wine in my tea
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
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