if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
