can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize