You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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