My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
he fucked my hip out of place.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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