Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
