Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize