he wants to bone in the snuggie
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I have fence marks all over my body
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize