Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
