I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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