Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Two words: blizzard sex
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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