$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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