sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
