I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
