Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
