Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
