I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Pants are for mortals
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
