Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
