so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize