i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
