Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
