elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
