so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
The air taste purple.
Randomize
