That's intense
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
