But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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