Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
