do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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