oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
