giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
My breasts were aching with rage.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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