she was so not down for the gang bang
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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