She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
