im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
