doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
