i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
